Children and Divorce
by George J. Beckus
How can I help my children cope with a Divorce?
Going through a divorce can be stressful, emotional, and quite simply exhausting. Once you come to terms with your state of mind, you then ask yourself, “what about my children?” Children are unique because they are impressionable, vulnerable, but are also resilient. Although it is unrealistic to shelter your children from the entire divorce process they should always know that both of their parents love them regardless of their living arrangements.
When interviewing a now adult child that lived through her parents’ divorce, she offered these simple recommendations to help children cope with divorcing parents.
- A child naturally loves both parents and should never be placed in a situation where they feel they must choose one parent over the other;
- A child should never be made to feel guilty for loving the other parent; and
- A child naturally loves both parents and never wants to hear, whether directly or indirectly, one parent speak badly about the other.
Children have a voice regardless of their age and they should be heard. Listen to your children as they express their feelings, and attempt to place your emotions aside for their benefit. As the parent, you are shaping the future of your children, you are their leaders and they need a great example to follow.